Discernment
Scripture Reading: Proverbs 23:6-8
Do not eat the bread of a man who is stingy; do not desire his delicacies, for he is like one who is inwardly calculating. “Eat and drink,” he says to you, but his heart is not with you. You will vomit up the morsels you have eaten and waste your pleasant words.
I tend to take people at face value. When they state a motive or tell me what they want or don’t want, I believe them. My default mode is not skepticism. Is this a virtue or flaw? Well, it is both a blessing and a curse. It helps me because I’m not always on guard and defensive around people. It hurts me because I have been burned more than once for believing someone.
This proverb spells out the negative aspect of believing what you are being told. The picture it paints is of a person who has been invited to take from another person’s fine foods. “Here, have some of my Turkish Delight! Take a drink of my wine! No, really! Go ahead. It’s fine. I would love to share it with you!”
So the gullible fool takes the man at his word, picks up a delicacy from off of the tray, and puts it in his mouth. “Oh, this is so good! I have to get the recipe from you before I leave!”
“Oh, please take another,” he says as he extends the silver platter before him.
“I don’t mind if I do. These are delicious.”
What he didn’t realize, but should have, was the offer wasn’t genuine. The host didn’t want him to accept. He resented this guest eating his food. The writer of this proverb says, “His heart is not with you.” The fruit is going to be a bad stomach. In saying that, I don’t think the writer meant to suggest literal illness and vomiting. I think he just meant that the person who eats from the plate of the stingy man will regret having accepted the invitation and eaten from the plate because there will be consequences. Bad ones.
What he needed (what I need) is better discernment. But how can we know if someone’s heart is not with us? How can we discern motives? It is impossible, right? Yes and no. Yes, we can’t fully know anyone’s heart and motives in a matter. Shoot, we can’t even figure our own heart out half of the time.
I believe the key here is in the way this person is described. He is a stingy man. That is his character and nature. That was the big clue that was overlooked. So, if you know someone is a liar, don’t assume they are telling you the truth this time. If someone has been known to be dishonest, don’t trust that this time they are dealing honestly with you. If you know someone who habitually breaks their promises, don’t be shocked when they don’t come through for you.
Most discernment is simply realizing people do what they are.
Don’t walk around thinking everyone is out to get you, but also learn that people generally act according to their character. A “man of his word” will keep his word, and thief will rob from you.
Be discerning.
