Father's Bless Your Children
Scripture Reading: Genesis 49:1-27
He was a talented, intelligent, young man who lived most of his adult life fighting tormenting soul darkness. Jack Phillip – Bible translator, author, teacher, writer – and a man haunted by the feeling that no matter what he did, it was never good enough. This feeling of unworthiness affected every aspect of Jack’s life. To him, God was a demanding perfectionist. He lived in constant fear of his peer’s criticism. He always struggled with jealousy over their success. Though he achieved many good things through his work, Jack was never satisfied with his accomplishments. His view of God, his friends, and himself was twisted by this inner travail.
Jack’s struggles could be traced back to his relationship with his father. When he was a child, Jack’s father recognized his son had a brilliant mind. He believed the best way to raise a son like that was to constantly push him to excel and succeed. But no matter what Jack accomplished, his father never praised him or told him he was proud of him. Instead, he just demanded that Jack do better next time.
John Paul Getty, Jr. also had a difficult relationship with his father. During his childhood, he rarely saw his dad. Once, as a teenager, he wrote his father a letter to share some of his thoughts concerning things that were on his mind and heart at the time. His father sent it back with all the grammatical and spelling errors marked in red. There was no encouragement or words of wisdom from his father, only a critique of John’s use of the English language.
The most important words a child can hear from his or her father may be things like: “I love you,” or “I’m proud of you,” or “you are special.” We are wired for attention and approval and we especially need it from our fathers. One author wrote of the importance of a father giving “the blessing” to his children. What he meant by blessing is speaking words of love and affirmation. Without this blessing, children grow up to be young men and women with deep hurt and emptiness.
In The Psychology of Atheism, Dr. Paul C. Vitz writes about the powerful effects a father can have on a child. He points to children who were abused, abandoned, or severely disappointed by their fathers and says they can develop psychological barriers to believing in God. Vitz traces many well-known atheist’s problems back to having either an abusive or absent father.
The human need for approval, praise, and acceptance from a father is woven into the fabric of the human personality. One even finds this theme in movies like “The Rookie.” The film recreates the fascinating story of Jim Morris and his stint in the Major League as a pitcher. One of the subplots woven throughout the film is Jim’s strained relationship with his dad. The movie begins with a scene from Jim’s childhood. He is passionate about baseball and is a pretty good ballplayer. After one particular game, Jim goes to his father’s workplace to tell him about the game, hoping to receive his father’s praise. Jim’s dad barely acknowledges his presence and says nothing encouraging or positive about Jim’s accomplishments that day.
Later in the film, as Jim is now an adult, he contemplates a major league tryout. Before deciding what to do he goes to his father’s house to talk. Even as an adult he was still longing for his father’s approval and support. His dad is still unable to say anything encouraging or positive and Jim walks away, disappointed once again.
Morris does finally make it to the Majors. After pitching in his first game, as he is leaving the stadium, Jim sees his father. He walks over to him and his dad still doesn’t say much, but it is clear that his presence at that game meant more to Morris than the presence of the thousands of other fans who cheered from the stands. Such is the longing to be blessed by one’s father.
I write these words as a father of four grown sons and the grandfather of ten. I hope that the longing of their hearts to be blessed has been met and will continue to be met. I write these words as a man living in a world where millions of young boys and girls have never had words of blessing spoken over them. They desperately need someone to fill that void and speak the words of a blessing they long to hear. I must do my part.
I also write these words as someone who has come to know that this longing for a blessing is a reflection of an even greater need. It is an echo of a longing to hear from our heavenly Father words of blessing. I confess I have often been deaf to his voice, but I have also come to know that God is speaking words of blessing over his children.
Like the prodigal son, I had wandered and drifted away from home. When I finally saw the futility, loneliness, and misery of a life away from the Father’s house, I decided to go home. I discovered that faith in Jesus Christ is the way home to God. My fondest hopes were that God might make me a servant, but when I came home he called me his son not his servant. He told me he loves me. He was happy that I belong to him. He spoke words of blessing over me.
This Father’s Day, I hope and pray you will know the love of God, our Father. Come home to him. And then, bless others with words of love, encouragement, affirmation, and acceptance.