Kill them with kindness
Scripture Reading: Proverbs 25:21-22
If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat, and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink, for you will heap burning coals on his head, and the LORD will reward you.
Part of this proverb has always puzzled me. You can probably guess which part. Yep. It is that part about heaping burning coals on someone’s head. That sounds painful. Paul quotes this proverb in the book of Romans. It is a helpful passage because it gives us some interpretive clues for understanding this properly:
Repay no one evil for evil but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’ To the contrary, ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing, you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:17-21)
At first blush, heaping burning coal does sound like a backdoor way of getting revenge. It sounds like you are pulling some sort of passive/aggressive trick and getting a pound of flesh from an adversary by being extraordinarily nice to them. When you read Paul’s inspired interpretation it is clear that vengeance is off the table. Your kindness is “contrary” to vengeance. You are leaving that up to the Lord. It’s not your place, and you aren’t trying slyly do your part in repaying the evil done to you.
Jesus said we are to love our enemies. Paul is saying the same thing and giving us a strategy for dealing with the evil they inflict. So, whatever the burning coals are, they aren’t a backdoor way of getting revenge. Instead, they are a way to overcome evil.
Therefore, it seems best to understand this as saying acts of kindness toward those who have done, or seek to do us harm, have the power to change them in a significant way. Paul extends the power of kindness to change others to a larger circle than just those who are directly involved in evildoing. He tells us to “give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.” In other words, think about how our actions will affect those who are bystanders and onlookers. People watch and notice how we respond to what others do to us. We can give credibility to our witness by being kind to the unkind.
The exhortation to give food and drink is not meant to be limited to those two things. It is meant to say that the best response to evil is to meet the practical needs of the one doing it. To do that, you have to know something about that person. You have to be aware, alert, and thoughtful. This is a proactive response. While they are plotting how to harm you, you are wondering how you can help them.
This is truly a contrarian way to live.
