The City

a Saturday Story

“Have you noticed that people won’t look at you around here?” I asked Monica.

We walking around downtown Orlando. We had some free time before the Equipping Pastors Board meeting and we were exploring the city. We didn’t find anything interesting in the downtown area, but you never know until you try. We weren’t alone down there. We walked by numerous people. They were a diverse crowd. Some were old and some were young. Some women and some men. Some black, some Asian, some Hispanic, and some white.

As diverse as they were, they all seemed to have an aversion to eye contact. Me, I like to throw a “hey,” “howsitgoing,” or a “morning” at folks I pass by. Even strangers. Especially strangers. But these folks weren’t having it. I tried to engage. I stared at some of them; daring them to look back. They probably thought it was creepy.

Back in the day (old man talking alert), I can remember when it was a common courtesy to give a guy the finger when you passed by them on the road. That was particularly true if you drove a pickup truck. No, I don’t mean that kind of finger. I mean men used to raise their index finger up off the steering wheel as they passed each other as a greeting. Some guys did two or three fingers. The enthusiastic ones might raise all four, but almost every man gave his fellow man the finger(s).

Living in Claremore means we still have the cultural vestiges of those days lingering, and usually folks will acknowledge each other on the street. Walk through downtown Claremore and you are likely to at least get a head nod, acknowledging your existence in this world, if not an actual spoken word of greeting. I like that.

I wondered about this phenomenon and what I perceive as a problem in Orlando. This is not a scientific study with data to back up what I am going to say. It is my speculative hypothesis. Here it is: The bigger the city the more isolated you become as an individual. The converse is true also: The smaller city or town the more connected you are to other people.

In other words, more people mean less connectedness, more isolation, and more loneliness. You get lost in the city. You trust people less. You avoid strangers more because you are suspicious of their motives and their intent. In a small town, you feel safer and therefore, more open to others, even people who are strangers to you.

Therefore…I had to connect this back to church life…be honest you knew I would…It is a good thing to be involved in a small group in your church. And if you are in a small church, don’t think of its smallness as a negative. You are probably more connected to other people in a healthy way than the person who attends a mega-church but isn’t involved in any small group settings within that church. Small is good when it comes to relationship building, community, and friendships.

Photo by Marissa Daeger on Unsplash