When Helping Hurts
Saturday Stories Day…
This summer the two peach trees I planted have done quite well as far as I can tell. What I mean by that is they didn’t die, they are taller and bigger in circumference than they were when I planted them, and the leaves are a healthy green color. That is success in my books.
Still, I thought I might want to do some studying on proper pruning methods. Mom had a guy tie up branches on her peach tree because they were sagging under their weight. I didn’t think it should be that way, but I also don’t know anything about proper peach tree care. I took advantage of modern technology and looked for some videos on the subject.
I homed in on two. The first was by a guy who has a peach orchard in Idaho. He did a tutorial while working in his orchard about the way they shape and prune their trees. The second was done by a young lady who has a farm and a few varieties of fruit trees for personal use. She had an arborist friend come over and help her figure out what she needed to be doing. She was in the same boat as me.
The arborist went over to a peach tree she had that she had driven a metal t-post into the ground near and run a ratchet strap around it and the tree to try and get it pulled up straight. The tree had something of a lean to it. He stood there looking at her fix for her tree for a minute and then looked at the young woman and said, “You aren’t helping this tree. You are probably doing more harm than good.”
He proceeded to take the strap off and started explaining:
“When you do this, you are fighting against the tree’s natural impulses. It is going to keep pulling against that strap and…look…it is already cutting into the bark and inviting disease. The tree needs to have to learn to fight the wind. That strap is only going to encourage it to not put down roots deeply into the soil. It won’t develop the trunk strength it normally would because this strap isn’t allowing the wind to push and pull on it. When the tree is being forced to bend the fibers in the trunk are being stretched and separated and, ultimately, strengthened.”
I had made the same mistake. I put a stake in the ground by each of my two peach trees and had them tied to those stakes. I thought I was helping them grow straight and tall by doing that. What I learned was I wasn’t helping. I was hurting. I went and pulled the stakes up the next day. The trees will learn to stand on their own.
There is a lesson here. Too often, we drive stakes in the ground around other people, our children, our grandchildren, our spouses. We are setting up structures that we believe will keep them from falling over when the winds of adversity strike. In truth, we are only making them weaker and more susceptible to failure. Yes, there are things we can do to help them grow and become fruitful (More on that in a coming Saturday Story), but we need to be wise about over-sheltering others. Our helping might be hurting them.
[NOTE: THERE IS A GOOD BOOK BY THE TITLE “WHEN HELPING HURTS.” THE AUTHOR OF THAT BOOKS MAKES A SIMILAR POINT. I RECOMMEND IT TO YOU FOR FURTHER STUDY]